Another sleepless night..
some people change

some things change

Its becoming a habit.  I can't sleep. I can't stop my mind from thinking.  Gosh i feel so empty without Ryan. what the frick is wrong with me.  I LOVE sleep. I do. but I can't sleep.  I miss him so much. I hate this.  My heart is completely screwed up.  I'd take him back in a heartbeat if he asked.  Just an ex that fell hard for her boyfriend but he left.. He knows I love him.  Told him.  Its hard to fall out of love with someone. well at least for me.  I'd feel stupid if i even told him.  cause my heart is already broken enough.  Maybe when I go back to college i'll play it tough like i didnt miss him but gosh there isnt a day go by that i dont miss him.  He hasnt called me.. *sigh*  I wish my phone will ring.  Just hearing his voice.. gosh his voice.. i'm pathetic.  Been drowning my ears with music.  That doesnt get my mind off of him though.  Wish it would.  I dont want to chase after him even though deep down I want to but I think I said all that I could say to him before college ended.  Now its all up to him.  and I'm here completely pathetic cause I'm having the worst time letting this go.  Its hard when you dated someone that you thought the world of. Even still when someone brings his name up i say, "Ryan was completely beautiful to me. and I'll always think hes amazing even if He isnt mine." *sigh* yeah..... I know.. you all are screaming at me saying brittany get over it.  Sorry its just taking me so long to get over it when a part of me just doesnt wanna let it go cause I love the boy. so much. with all of my heart.